By jmb
This picture popped up in my Facebook memories from 15 years ago, so here’s a little rememberance I wrote about it:
15 years ago… the date of this picture is signifcant, as later that night I would drive overnight back home to Oklahoma City, most of the drive spent rehearsing what I planned to tell Becky when I got back to Oklahoma (that I was in love with her and wanted to pursue a relationship with her).
The next morning, I stumbled out of bed (not even showering first) and walked next door for a baby shower for my close friends’ first baby and strangely enough I happened to mention on Facebook that I was going to be at said baby shower which Becky happened to see.
Becky ended up crashing the baby shower, after which we went to Kamp’s 1910 cafe to talk —and then Becky proceeded to tell me that she was in love with me and wanted to pursue a relationship with me!
We got engaged by November and were married on New Years Eve.
The picture of course brings back other memories as well, of all of my friends I made during my time as a frequent visitor/volunteer at the Under The Hood Cafe, a pro-soldier/anti-war coffeehouse. I’m thinking about the joyful moments of solidarity and triumph, but also sad moments, including hearing so many stories of trauma but also of the many ways that hurting people end up hurting other people, including friends and loved ones. In a lot of ways my pivot to being with Becky, was a pivot away from my “giving everything to the cause” (no matter the cost) and towards sustainability and joy.
I still struggle with these issues, of trying to find the balance between activism, family life and self-care, but I’m in a much better place today than I was 15 years ago.
One other thing I should mention — that baby is now an incredible freethinking teenager and his parents are two of our family’s closest friends (who we even got to go to Alaska with last summer), Britney Hopkins and Zach Gleason.